Today I turn 15 years sober. I like to say that alcohol was never my problem – but rather – reality was. I always felt so much more at ease when I could put a buffer between me and the sharp edges of real life. And because I started drinking at age 14, I never really learned how to deal or grow up like ‘normal’ people. Anytime there was discomfort or pain – which at that time there was a lot – I’d self medicate. I didn’t have role models to take me by the hand and say ‘this is how we get through life’s hardships. This is how we process pain or loss.’ Instead I watched my dad evade his own life’s troubles by escaping with another woman – never to return, and at the same time I watched my mom crawl under a rock of depression and bury her own pain with beer or vodka.
15 years ago I broke the pattern.
15 years ago I broke the pattern. After 25 years of partying I had to admit that ‘having fun’ was no longer really fun. I had a 2 year old child to raise – and as a single mom no less…
I’m sad that due to the stigma I kept silent about my recovery for many years. Admitting to myself that I had a dependency on booze and getting help was courageous, yes – but further removed what little self-esteem I had. Instead of feeling empowered, I felt inadequate and flawed. I would look at addiction from the eyes of someone who didn’t understand it, and it became the reason I stayed quiet – hidden in my low self-worth.
It took me a while to feel gratitude around my affliction. At first I didn’t see that my wound was actually the best part of me. And the fact that I am recovering from addiction is not who I am. With years of self-healing I see that I’m not defined by this. I’m just someone who doesn’t drink anymore!
If only I could go back in time to that scared newbie in recovery and tell her that 15 years later I now view myself as a success as a parent to a wonderful 17 yr old boy, entrepreneur of 12 yrs, and am a mindset coach helping others step out of fear and into living a life that is truly meant to be extraordinary.
Life is meant to be extraordinary.
What I’ve learned time and time again on my journey – and starting at getting sober – is doing the extremely scary or hard things are what yield the biggest results. Taking a big leap or risk can be downright terrifying, but the way to get through the discomfort is to keep your eye on the prize. Pretty soon you’ll have transformed into someone who IS capable – and wow – not only do you get the prize or something even better, but you’re now also a different person. You suddenly have confidence and can then take on the next big thing with courage. And it’s not even really about ‘getting the thing’, but more about who we become in the process. It’s an upward cycle of growth that is ever rewarding but it takes faith and courage.
What if I told you just ONE year from now,
your life could look completely different…
In 12 months you wake up with the realization that you finally did it…
• You look at yourself in the mirror and—there you are. The most authentic, magnetic version of yourself is staring back at you and you feel like you’re finally home.
• When life gets challenging, instead of hiding, you confidently SHOW UP, knowing you have the tools to handle anything that comes your way.
• Your kids, partner, family and friends look to you as a role model for what’s POSSIBLE.
So now – let me ask you – what’s YOUR next big thing that you KNOW you have to summon the courage for to get to the other side?
👉 Let me know in the comments if you’re feeling the fear and on the edge of being ready to make a move.
🌸 If this is setting your soul on fire, it’s no coincidence you’re seeing this today!